Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
