I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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