What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
