True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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