Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
