i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
