Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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