Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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