He is such a slut. More and more my type.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
