My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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