Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
