I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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