Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
