A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
