Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
