that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
