he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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