Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
