listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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