super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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