I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
