how can u be prego again
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
