maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Michael Bay diarrhea
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
