Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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