when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
