I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
