Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
