you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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