I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
