she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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