I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
