The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
