Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's never too late to be topless.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
