Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
