I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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