i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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