I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
