Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
