Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
