hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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