dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
