I hate all girls vehemently.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
