Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
