I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
time to smoke my breakfast
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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