just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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