i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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