Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
