So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
