after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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