They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
