its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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